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Thursday, 12 July 2007

Perspective

I had the most frightening experience last night! And it has opened my eyes to the truth that my mind is still not renewed to think like a transformed man, a new creation. I am not feeling condemned ... just very, very convicted. My previous blog contains a statement that I am learning to trust in my High Tower and run into Him quicker. But apparently quicker isn't quickly enough!

Let me elaborate ...

It's been quite a hectic week with lots of stress at school. On top of that, I had been laboring with friends in preparation for The Call that happened last Saturday. I have recently moved. Family life at home in South Africa is under pressure. So all in all, my stress levels are peak-ish.

I was sitting on my couch at home last night, watching some TV with my second cup of tea for the evening, and polishing off my third or fourth piece of chocolate from my Mom. All of a sudden out of nowhere, my chest began to feel really tight and the worst pain I have ever felt began throbbing there. I got up and tried to breathe in but the pain just increased every time I breathed. I doubled over and crawled my way to my bedroom. I tried to lay down on my bed, but the pain was excruciating no matter what I did.

I was panicked. I began to sweat and feel all clammy and started to hyperventilate. I called a school friend of mine (funny side note ... I couldn't remember the number for 9-1-1!!!). I managed to get out that I was having chest pains and please would she come over and take me to the ER. About 5 minutes later, 4 paramedics, 2 campus police officers and my friend, Lynne, all came bursting through my door to find me semiconscious on the floor of my bedroom. After some brief tests and a heart monitor, the paramedics directed me to the ER (Lynne drove me rather than the experience of an ambulance). Pain still gripping my chest, we made it to Bozeman Deaconess ER where I was admitted and hooked up to an EKG.

The next 4 hours were spent having blood taken, chest X-rays, heart monitors and all sorts of other stuff that I never wish on anyone! By about 9pm, the pain had pretty much subsided and by 11pm I was released to go home.

The prognosis? Esophageal spasm caused by acid reflux, the result of stress and my healthy diet for the day (3 chocolate chip cookies, 4 cups of caffeine and a slab of chocolate!!!). The doctor reprimanded me for a poor diet and instructed me to take some antacids for a while until my esophagus heals.

Lynne brought me home and I crashed and slept like a baby. This morning, I feel almost back to normal. Started my day with a bowl of fruit salad, banana bread, bacon and a fruit smoothie!

But now to address my first paragraph ... why do I say that my mind is still not renewed? Simply ... my first cry for help was not Jesus. It is still not my spirit's instinctive response to call on the Name above all names when crisis hits. Father, forgive me. Holy Spirit, please re-train my mind to think on You. Day and night help me to meditate (literally, "to utter, mumble or speak out") on Your Word. I confess my heart and mind are still susceptible to fear, which indicates I still do not fully believe You are perfect Love. Forgive me, please Father. I confess You are strong in my weakness and I choose, body, soul and spirit, to align myself with Your Truth and put all fear behind me. Thank You for saving me, healing me, and setting me free from the bondage of fear.

My friends, Jesus is perfect theology! Selah!

Monday, 09 July 2007

Lisa, thanks for your message on my blog. I am glad my ramblings bring you encouragement. You guys made such a powerful impression on me, fair is only fair
I thought that since Lisa asked the questions, I should answer for all my other friends out there ... so here is a run down of my life thus far this year.
Life is good for me. Summer is always busy and this one is no different. I am aiming to finish my PhD this year, with a tentative goal being September. That said however, I am not sure how realistic that goal is, so I will just be satisfied to finish by Christmas so that I can spend my first Christmas at home in South Africa in 5 years!
The research is still holding out on me, so I hope the breakthroughs will come this summer so that at least I can start writing the thesis. Once I am finished with the research, the writing will be easy and come quickly. I may not be the best researcher in the world, but I am very comfortable with a pen and am a pretty good writer.
Personally, this year has been a blessing. Last year, 2006, was the most difficult year of my life (followed closely by 2005). However, 2007 has been a year of grace. I have so enjoyed getting to know some of the people at Christian Center, and building relationships with others in the Body throughout the Gallatin. I feel as though restraints have been cast off and I can fly again.
There have been challenges, maintaining a right attitude at work in particular. I am the guy who is always cheerful, always ready with a smile and word of encouragement, but this year, the Lord has been showing me that I have perfected the art of the fake smile. He has been teaching me how to be strengthened in Him and not rely on my own strength. In order to do that, He has brought me several grace growers at work. These wonderful, blessed people (not yet Believers) have been given permission by the Lord to press every button in my cockpit, to force me to retreat into Jesus. On one or two occasions, I have lost it and made a fool of myself and have had to repent later. But that's the nature of grace! Now I find it so much easier to find the secret place in my God, my Rock and my High Tower.
Ministry? Well, not much there ... at least, not any regulated ministry. I have had such a burden to participate in The Call these last couple of months, and all my energy has been focussed on intercession for that. In so doing, I have spent a lot of time fasting and praying for the US and Israel.
My confidence in prayer as well as my realm of authority have definitely increased in these last few months too, and I am beginning to walk more and more into my inheritance as a son of the King. I have been getting revelation on what it means for me to have been given keys to unlock cities and nations. Some of the Scriptures that have become opened to me include Isaiah 22:22 and Daniel 7. Both of these portions of Scripture talk about the role of God's delegated rulers on earth and the authority given to these. I am so excited to be a part of the generation of saints who will rise up amongst the rulers of men with integrity and purity, to bring justice and righteousness to the earth. And I say this with all humility, not to make myself seem wonderful, but to point to the One who is Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace ... because of the increase of His government there will be no end.
As for the question of a girlfriend ... I am still waiting for my beautiful bride to be made known to me. South Africa is looking more and more appealing all the time on that score! I have great anticipation but zero anxiety. Both heaven and earth will rejoice on that day!
So, how does that satisfy the curious? Offhand, I cannot think of anything else I can share right now. Incidental facts perhaps ... let me bullet those:
- Mom visited from South Africa and spent four awesome weeks with me in MT and CA.
- Brother, Bradley, experienced a miracle near-death to life healing. Praise Jesus!
- I moved out of my glorious winter digs in the country back onto campus .
- Was honoured with Characklis Memorial Award for Outstanding Graduate Student.
- Attended AWESOME conference at Bethel in Redding, CA.
- Had my friends JAD and Jillian live with me for a month whic blessed my socks off! You guys ROCK!

Sunday, 08 July 2007

International House of Prayer

http://theprayerroom.god.tv
If I could have one wish, it would be spend the rest of my life at the feet of Jesus, pouring out precious anointing oil to worship my King.
While Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry would be a joy unspeakable, and Church-planting would be awesome, there is nothing like spending time loving on Jesus like Mary of Bethany.
And now that option is even closer in reach. Kansas City International House of Prayer (IHOP) is streaming live, 24/7 on the internet and on satellite television thanks to God TV!
Praise God for Mike Bickel and his team of passionate worshippers and intercessors in Kansas City, and for Rory and Wendy Alec at the dream of God TV.

Monday, 02 July 2007

The Call is coming up fast. I am very excited and also very nervous. I am anticipating a great move of God in this Valley, something I have been hoping for and praying for over the last 5 years. I am just anxious that there are so many Believers in the Valley who are either completely unaware of the significance of this day, or who are just choosing to ignore it's significance. I have heard many Believers oppose The Call, saying "It's just so Old Testament" and that because of the work of Christ at Calvary, we don't have to fast and pray and come in agreement in corporate repentence. It just boggles my brain and actually makes me really mad. I will continue to believe the best about my brothers and sisters in Christ, but if they choose to ignore the clarion call of the apostles and prophets after being made aware of the Truth, they become responsible for that Truth and the consequences of their disobedience.

I guess I am just having one of those days where my sense of justice is peaked! My prophetic edge is eclipsing my pastoral bent.

Happy Independence Day on Wednesday, my American friends. Just remember that an independant heart is a tool of the enemy to isolate you and take you out. By all means, celebrate the freedom and everything that is good about the United States, but remember all that glitters is not gold!

Friday, 22 June 2007

That's right folks! It's summer and for the first time in my whole life of 31 years, I am experiencing the agony of allergies! Itchy eyes, sore throat and of course, congested sinuses. Uggghh! I've already been to the quack twice because the first batch of drugs did nothing for me. Now I am taking Zyrtec and have good eye drops, so I amdoing a little better. So bad this past weekend that I rubbed my conjunctiva loose and it was a really icky feeling! On the upside, the meds have changed my sleeping schedule so I have been getting up at 4am and going to work and been MOST productive because there's nobody to bug me! Of course, it also means I have hardly seen any of my friends, so that sucks!